Friday 31 May 2013

Interlude: An Ashley Tale

"Hi there, Internet jerks. My name is Ashley and I am the Queen of the Fucking Universe."

"You're probably wondering why my jerk Dad isn't here today to write about games or other Things That Suck Because They Aren't Me. It's because I have FUCKING GRIEVANCES. You better listen too, or else."

"Here I am sleeping with my Mom, who is also a jerk, but we was all comfy like when Dad comes along with his stupid fucking camera."

"Here's me saying 'Dad, you're RUINING IT, you fat idiot.' "

"Here is me saying 'FUCK BOTH OF YOU JERKS. I'M OUT OF HERE.' "

"Here is me coming to kick Dad in his fat stupid ass."

"Here's me saying 'I will end you, fat man.' "
"And the moral of the story is, DON'T MESS WITH ASHLEY THE QUEEN OF THE FUCKING UNIVERSE OR I WILL KICK YOUR ASS."

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